Imagine this happening to you

This is a true story which occurred to one of the patients in 5B, with a modified version.

Imagine this happening to you.

You are a newly married couple. You and your husband love each other sooo soo much. During your unforgettable honeymoon however, you met with an accident and you escaped the trauma uninjured. However, your beloved husband whom you love with all your heart, sustained a burst fracture of one of his cervical vertebrae with complete neurological deficit below the level of lesion. Unforgettable honeymoon indeed.

Neurological deficit by definition, does not only mean you have complete motor paralysis and total loss of sensation below the level of spinal cord injury, but remember you are also incapable of controlling your own bowel and urine output. And if the level is higher up you may not be able to breathe without the assistance of a ventilator, plus a lot more other complications, so depressing you would rather not think about it.

Imagine, just imagine! Should this tragedy truly happen to you, as the injured paralysed husband, or the depressed yet concerned wife, na’uzhbillah.

One minute you can walk, run, drive and do almost whatever you can possibly think of. But the next, in a split of a second, you cannot feel your 4 limbs at all, what more to be able to move them. You lie down static in spinal board, with a skull traction screwed in your head, you cannot move any parts of your body except your eyes and mouth. Worse off, you cannot even control the daily emptying of your own bladder and rectum. Some may not be able to swallow. One minute you are the breadwinner, the head of the family. The next, you are on diapers and someone has to wash you up every now and then. Or, in words which are less harsh, you become totally bedridden and completely dependant on others.

Benarlah, Allah Maha Kuasa dan berhak menarik kembali nikmat yang dipinjamkanNya pada sesiapa jua di kalangan hambaNya, pada bila-bila masa sahaja. Dan status sebagai seorang hamba, tentulah senantiasa layak diuji Pemiliknya!

Yes, some may find this narration familiar, kan? A ‘tragic honeymoon’ is what they name it. What happened to this particular patient however, is slightly different. It wasn’t a tragic honeymoon, and the wife is already pregnant with their first child, Alhamdulillah. However, all the other disabilities mentioned about the husband are real.

Imagine, and imagine again. This could happen to anyone.

From the Islamic viewpoint, of course Allah knows whoever amongst His slaves who are tested, must be capable of enduring that particular trial. For in a hadith narrated by Imam Tirmizhi and Ibnu Majah, it has been mentioned, “The people most (tested) on trials are the Anbiyaa’. Thereafter, those closest to them.” (verified as sahih by al-albani). A person would therefore be tested in conformity to his strength of iman. If he is firm in his Deen, his trials become more intensive.

But then again, if this happens to you…

If the injured party is the wife, I would be almost certain that the husband would gladly find another wife or wives, and at the same time, he may or may not keep taking care of the ill first wife…

But what if you are the wife? At first you may be grateful your husband’s life is spared. But after 4 or 5 years taking care of a completely paralysed husband, hmm… I keep thinking would I be able to be as strong as the patient’s wife if the same test falls upon me. You cannot marry another while still being a wife to someone. Let’s say you are still young… And your first (and probably last) honeymoon before the incident did not yield a pregnancy… So, would you think of…?

If you are the injured husband, would you let your wife go?

Of course, there is no definite answer. Because multiple factors deserve consideration. It sometimes strikes me why in the world would I spend time dwelling on others’ problem? But being a mere human, we have feelings. And there’s this thing called ‘heart’ in me, which becomes easily touched when seeing cases as such. Patients ask me all sorts of questions about their diseases or problems, but more often than not, it is me who learn from them.